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Gerund!

July 31, 2009
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It was much to my surprise when, while reading another section of our first big, bloody battle scene, I came across this sentence:

Oron caught glimpses of Amrik who, like the Mad Bull he was, was swording and slaying on every side…
– Page 29

Swording. Swording! Mr. David C. Smith made “sword” into a gerund! What is more pulpy sword and sorcery than that?

Nothing. Nothing in the world.

This was, of course, a little surprising. Can something be a gerund when there is no verb? Does that work? Well, no worries, because Oron’s got it all figured out:

Some few Salasans had gained Dugur’s retainers and were swording it out with them…
– Pages 29-30

Ah ha! So “to sword” is a verb! Meaning, I assume, to fight, kill, thrash about with a sword. (No “and” in our list, Oron doesn’t like lists that have “and” start the last clause!) So then, that means we’re dealing with the most bad-ass new verb ever!

to sword

  • I sword
  • you sword
  • thou art swording
  • he/she/it swords
  • we sword
  • you (plural) sword
  • they sword

Too bad English verb conjugations are so boring. However, the existence of such a verb opens up so many possibilities! For example…

épéer (to sword)

  • j’épée
  • tu épées
  • il/elle épée
  • nous épéeyons
  • vous épéez
  • ils/elles épéent

Much better. Or if French isn’t goofy sounding enough for you, there’s always Yiddish (which I am entirely guessing at, since I only know how to insult people and refer to genitals in that classiest of languages).

shverd (to sword):

  • ikh shverd
  • du shverdst
  • er/zi/es shverdt
  • mir shverden
  • ir shverdt
  • zey shverden

Whee! Fun with conjugation! Anyone wanna take a try at Latin (which I took half a semester of a decade ago) or Hebrew (which I haven’t studied since I was 13, guess why!) for me?

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